Folklore
Dabneeg

What is the purpose of the bride price?
This is not given because the bride’s parents are selling their daughter away or making money out of their daughter, but as an appreciation gift to the parents for loving, caring, and raising the bride from childhood to adulthood.

What is the purpose of the black umbrella?
The umbrella is protects both the bride and the groom from any bad luck, evil spirits, and anything that may occur during their journey to the bride’s home for the wedding. The umbrella is still used during the traditional wedding.

Why does the bride wear traditional Hmong clothing?
When returning to her first home for the wedding ceremony, the bride and her maid of honor will wear the clothes that represent the groom’s side of the family. Upon leaving the bride’s house after the wedding, the bride and maid of honor will wear the Hmong traditional clothing that represents the bride’s side of the family.

Why is the bride shadowed by the groom’s younger sister during the wedding?
During the wedding, it is improper for the groom to spend significant time with the bride because of specific responsibilities of being at the table or in speaking with elders. But the bride will need attention and help as well, so the younger sister or maid of honor will take on the role of the groom and follow her, be with her, and help her. In case there is a problem, the groom’s sister or the maid of honor will report back to the groom and the family.

Why is alcohol served?
Alcohol is used because it is symbolic of respect for the bride’s side of the family. In Laos, strong homemade drink, similar to moonshine, was served for this special occasion. Upon arriving in the United States, alcohol has replaced the traditional Hmong drink. Due to concerns of health and responsible drinking, it is becoming more common for Hmong families to offer alternatives to alcohol for those who choose not to drink.

Why does the groom bow on hands and knees to every relative in the family?
The groom has to bow on his hands and knees to the bride’s parents and thereafter all the bride’s relatives. This is a sign of respect and promise of commitment to the bride’s side of the family that the groom will cherish, protect, love, and care for the bride. Specifically, it signifies that the intent of his words will be answered by deeds, with the prostration reflecting this intent.

Why are their punishments during the wedding and what are they?
The groom’s family must respect a set of guidelines or rules during the wedding known as Cov txheej txheem. If something is done incorrectly in preparation for or at the wedding because of inattention to these guidelines or by not taking responsibility for specific duties, a fine will be charge. The fee will be determined at the time of the wedding.

What is the reason behind two shots of alcohol on a plate?
Two shots or two cups of alcohol will always be served in the traditional Hmong wedding because it represents the couple.

Why do the brides give the groom a 12oz beer?
Because from this day forward, by accepting the 12oz beer or whatever the bride’s brothers are offering to their brother in-law, he shows them that he accepts their sister as his bride and agrees to love, cherish and protect her throughout their marriage. By drinking at the request of each brother, the groom shows his brother-in-laws that they will be family and will show mutual respect.

Why is a soul calling performed for the bride and groom?
On the third day of the bride being with the groom in his home, a blessing ceremony is being held for three reasons. First, the soul calling unites their souls as one because they are now a couple. Second, as part of the ritual, family members and others in the community are invited to come and tie strings signifying the bestowing o blessings and good fortune, health, and happiness. Third, it serves as a public announcement of their wedding—that they are husband and wife from that day forward.

What happens if the groom passes out while drinking too much?
If the groom passes out then the groom’s side of the family must find someone to replace the groom and take on his position as the groom at the table. In fact, it is also common for someone to drink the groom’s drinks for him if he needs help.

What happens if both families cannot come to a conclusion on the bride price?
In most cases, the wedding would be cancelled, the bride would stay with her parents and the groom would return back home. However, increasingly in the United States, the families of both bride and groom have less say in young people’s marital decisions, so if both insist that the marriage take place (with or without a bride price agreement) there will be considerable pressure to work out an agreement.. Otherwise, the bride may just leave with the groom without a wedding.

Who gets to sit on the table of the wedding?
In traditioanl weddings, the four Mej Koob, the best man, the oldest brother of the bride (Nus Tij), the first cousin of the bride (Nus Npaws), the uncle of the bride (Txiv Cob Txheeb), the uncle of the bride’s mother (Dab Laug), the aunt of the bride (Muam Phauj), and two men from each side of the family representing the groom and the bride’s parents must be at the table.

Which animals are slaughtered for the wedding and during which part of the wedding?
On their way to the bride’s home for the wedding, chickens are prepared by the groom’s side of the family to give to the bride’s side of the family for a blessing. During the wedding a pig is typically used as part of the wedding meal. After the wedding, upon leaving the bride’s home, chickens are again prepared, this time by the bride’s side of the family for the journey back to the groom’s home.

If the Mej Koob picks up the shot of beer with his right why must everyone else do the same?
As a traditional belief, as newlyweds, everything must start out the same to have everlasting love in a marriage during a wedding. In a traditional Hmong wedding, everyone must follow the Master of Ceremony which is one of the Mej Koob.